Tales from the Game Table – Draw your swords!

So back in the day when Dark Sun was just being published and Ravenloft had recently become more than just a module regarding a castle I was with a game group that most folks should know from at least one point in their game lives. We had the Chemical Gamer who could explain everything on at least a beer. We had the Faithful Sidekick who joined the group to follow another. We had the Eating Machine… dont touch his snacks. And we had others… But most of all… we had Rouse.

Now then Mr Rouse was not a Chemical Gamer, nor was he an Eating Machine… He was Rouse. There may be many other stories here about him. But while you laugh please remember that everyone in the group loved playing with this guy. He was always enthusiastic and happy to play, he would try hard, and quite frankly sometimes we took advantage of his innocence and desire to be part of the team as the adventure was going on. He could also be the most bull headed member of the party… I think if I told you the reincarnation story you might get the point on that trait….

But this is about a maneuver that Rouse pulled three times. Twice in one night and then again in a session a couple weeks later… it stuck after that one.

Anyway Rouse was playing a Fighter. And before you can wonder about the equipment, yeah the game was a bit Monty Haul but that was part of the fun for us at the time. The game was more about having fun than telling in depth stories and deep role playing. So anyway Rouse had picked up two swords. One was “Of Sharpness” and the other was “Vorpal”. For long time players you may be seeing where this is going already…

Anyway Rouse was very keen on his fighter looking very cool and so he had these blades strapped to his back in the classic X format.

After a couple of fights we got curious about how he was using them… and so at the start of the next fight the question was raised “How are you drawing those swords Rouse?”

In reply he crossed his arms in front of himself and mimed pulling both blades forward at the same time in a manner that would surely not end well with blades that powerful on his back.

He was made to roll an attack on himself and was shocked when he rolled a critical hit.

You guessed it.. instant decapitation.

Ok so the first time was played for laughs and we did not enforce anything in the game. However an hour or so later we get into another fight and “Rouse how are you drawing the blades?”

He mimed the same thing again and looked shocked as he realized just what he had done. Without being asked he rolled an attack against himself… double crit. The decapitation was enforced that time. Everyone including Rouse got a bit of a laugh out of it.

We let it go for a while… no one bothered him since he go the character resurrected and all was good. Until about three months later…

“Rouse how are you drawing those swords?”

Third time…yeah… here we go again…

The thing that pissed Rouse off the most at that point though was that he only seemed to roll critical hits when he was attacking himself.

He decided to play a wizard for a while after that. Only used a staff too. We did drop a Staff of Sharpness into the game… he destroyed it.

Anyway… hope that got you all a bit of a laugh.

Stay safe out there in the late season snows.

Now gimme the dice, I gotta see how many critical hits I can get in an hour…

  1. #1 by dantherpgman on February 10, 2019 - 11:50 pm

    Wow, Tales of Rouse, there could be a lot of these entries :p Kind of ironic that he’s the one who introduced me to Knights of the Dinner Table.

    He decided to play a wizard for a while after that.

    I may be mistaken, but I think that was the original Orb Dracus!

    And in the spirit of Rouse and all that he is, I think it’s the appropriate time to reprint this:

    Top 10 Quotes From Rouse Immediately Before His Death

    10. “Shawn, could you pass me that sword?”
    9. “Does it fit on my head?”
    8. “I’ll draw my…no, I mean I’ll draw my…oh dammit!”
    7. “I’ve got him all rolled up, I just need to name him.”
    6. “I’m going to try to take over his body.”
    5. “Sure, I’ll open it.”
    4. “My name is Orb Dracus.”
    3. “I’ll just follow Tony.”
    2. “I’ll check this area out by myself.”
    1. “Color Spray!


    • #2 by authortao on February 11, 2019 - 12:29 am

      IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ORB DRACUS… Color Spray… heh


      • #3 by dantherpgman on February 11, 2019 - 6:14 am

        So glad I kept all the paperwork from those days…I have a couple more top 10s and of course the story of the Dragonslayers and even the old character sheets : )


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